God showed up! ...and it was in a way I would have never expected... But just how He has been teaching me all year long ... In a moment!
Christmas morning was wonderful! I woke up bright and early, just as I remember doing as a little girl excited for Santa! This year it was the anticipation of all the thoughts and prayers for my conversation at Christmas with Mom.
Mom greeted me with a BIG hug and "Merry Christmas" (we've been working on this all weekend)! Dad joined us in the living room and we pulled up Skype with my sister and brother-in-law in Hartford, CT. Dad and I had our pens ready... What was Mom going to say this morning? We wanted to remember every detail to share with all of you...
We did notice more words along with more opportunities where she was trying to form full sentences. Things like, "Why don't you do it?" and "I've been waiting for you to come home!" These continued through opening gifts, breakfast, and out to my uncle and aunts for Christmas dinner.
Funny side note: The power went out shortly after we arrived for dinner. As we looked for plan b, Mom went right into her resourceful mode. Looking for candles, she found empty wine bottles to use as candle holders and we even had to yank her out of the laundry room cupboards as she was looking for other solutions to the power outage! We sure love this lady's personality... EVEN when it's difficult to get her to stop what she's got her mind set on. (I think this part of her is what has enabled God to work through her in such BIG ways!)
About an hour later as the power came back on and the whole family CHEERED, we were spoiled with steak and lobster for dinner. We watched the first half of the Packer game and then packed up to head home in time to catch the second half at home and get ready to drive up to the cabin today.
And then it happened... A very special moment with Mom. Just the moment I didn't even realize I've been praying for. As we were driving home, Dad noticed an ambulance driving in front of us. He pointed to it and asked Mom if she remembered her ride in the ambulance. She answered very somberly, "Yes." It brought us all back to that day... That moment.
It hurts us because we weren't there with her through the trauma of the stroke attacking her brain, but God reminded me last night in that pain that she was not alone. He was holding my Mom through all of it.
I asked her if she was scared on that ride (picturing the EMS staff, lots of chaos and unfamiliar circumstances). I was expecting a yes. I saw her think about it for a minute and as she burrowed her eyebrows a bit she responded very plainly with "No, not really."
As we worked through what she was experiencing between the hotel hallway floor, the ambulance and the hospital she explains her experience best with her actions. She closes her eyes tightly, puts her head back and stiffens her whole body (like on the stretcher) and then opens her eyes and with her arms pulled tight into her side lifts her hands up next to her cheeks (palms forward). Then she moves her eyeballs very slowly from one side to the other. She said, "I just couldn't do anything."
I asked her if she felt trapped and she said, "Yes!"
Dad reached over and placed his hand on Mom's thigh and tenderly said, "Honey, I am so sorry you had to go through that." And Mom (who usually smirks/giggles at Dad and pushes his hand away when he does these things) placed her hand on top of Dad's.
And as I watched them sitting in the back seat of the car, I knew this was God's tender answer to my Conversation at Christmas prayer.
That Momma Besch is pretty guarded, especially with Dad, but she let him in for a moment. To touch her heart through all that she has gone through, recognize that pain and remind her they're in it (with God) together.
Thank you, Lord!
Where have you seen God's grace in your life today?
Monday, December 26, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
DAY #24:CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS
Today was an amazing day! As the day went on more and more phrases came from Mom! We were at Auntie Linda's tonight and as midnight passed.. We heard even MORE from Mom! I'm so very excited for tomorrow morning.
And so my final conversation at Christmas prayer will be tonight, but I will continue to be on my knees for her recovery to continue!
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS-DAY#24 PRAYER:
Lord,
We saw your miracles begin to unfold tonight and we are in awe of Mom's words and phrases! If this is any glimpse of tomorrow... I want to fall asleep this second!
We praise you and thank you for your healing touch on her, and our families, life. We give you ALL the glory.
Tonight we celebrate your birth! We are so fortunate to love and serve a God who would come down to this earth to live the life we could not live. Not because of who I am but because of what You've done! Not because of what I've done, but because of who You are!
Happy Birthday, Jesus!
Amen.
Where have you seem God's grace in your life today?
And so my final conversation at Christmas prayer will be tonight, but I will continue to be on my knees for her recovery to continue!
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS-DAY#24 PRAYER:
Lord,
We saw your miracles begin to unfold tonight and we are in awe of Mom's words and phrases! If this is any glimpse of tomorrow... I want to fall asleep this second!
We praise you and thank you for your healing touch on her, and our families, life. We give you ALL the glory.
Tonight we celebrate your birth! We are so fortunate to love and serve a God who would come down to this earth to live the life we could not live. Not because of who I am but because of what You've done! Not because of what I've done, but because of who You are!
Happy Birthday, Jesus!
Amen.
Where have you seem God's grace in your life today?
DAY #23: CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS
I'm happy to announce Mom's favorite new word....Stinker! haha...As I jumped into the car at the airport (as the SNOW!! was falling down) Mom hopped into the back seat with me! As we were chatting, we remembered that Mom forgot to take her medicine this morning. I looked at her and said, "Stinker!" To which she looked right back at me and said with total clarity, "STINKER!" We laughed SO SO hard! What a blessing to her Mom's new words and phrases in person!
She continued to surprise us with new words and phrases all day long. I have definitely noticed an improvement in clarity and flow of words since I was last home just a month ago over Thanksgiving! Praise God! AND thank you to ALL of you for your prayers! I can just feel the conversation at Christmas coming with anticipation.
As I think about the prayer that has surrounded Mom over the past 23 days I am in awe of our God. He has really taught me that if we are doing all we can, he will do the rest! I just loved sitting down at Mom's computer to write this blog. I was greeted by her workspace:
(notice the flash cards (numbers and objects), worksheets (numbers, days of the week, months, alphabet), computer program, and a binder FULL of more worksheets!)
This, just another awesome example of how diligently she is working on regaining her speech! Great work Momma!
And as Christmas is nearly upon us, I was happy to crack open my devotional for a reminder of what it all means:
Manning writes,
THE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS
In 1980, the day before Christmas, Richard Ballenger's mother in Anderson, South Carolina, was busy wrapping packages and asked her young son to shine her shoes. Soon, with the proud smile that only a seven-year-old can muster, he presented the shoes for inspection. His mother was so pleased that she gave him a quarter.
On Christmas morning as she put on the shoes to go to church, she noticed a lump in one shoe. She took it off and found a quarter wrapped in paper. Written on the paper in a child's scrawl were the words, "I done it for love."
When the final curtain falls, each one of us will be the sum of our choices throughout life, the sum of the appointments we kept and the appointments we didn't keep. The glory of the shipwrecked will be that they habitually failed to turn up for duty. In their defense they claim they were detained by a baby in swaddling clothes. When interrogated as to why they hung out at the stable, they answer, "We done it for love."
In their integrity the shipwrecked preserve the meaning of Christmas in it pristine purity - the birthday of the Savior and the eruption of the messianic era into history.
This Christmas, may you belong to their number.
We love because He FIRST loved us. - 1 John 4:19.
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS-DAY #23 PRAYER:
Lord,
Today I ask for you to show us how to sit in the posture of 1 John. It is all because you first loved us, Lord and we are so very thankful for this truth. I pray that we not only are reminded of this as we pray for a very special conversation Christmas morning with Mom, but everyday, as Manning says, "Until the curtain falls..."
Let every heart prepare Him room!
Amen.
Where have you seen God's grace in your life today?
She continued to surprise us with new words and phrases all day long. I have definitely noticed an improvement in clarity and flow of words since I was last home just a month ago over Thanksgiving! Praise God! AND thank you to ALL of you for your prayers! I can just feel the conversation at Christmas coming with anticipation.
As I think about the prayer that has surrounded Mom over the past 23 days I am in awe of our God. He has really taught me that if we are doing all we can, he will do the rest! I just loved sitting down at Mom's computer to write this blog. I was greeted by her workspace:
(notice the flash cards (numbers and objects), worksheets (numbers, days of the week, months, alphabet), computer program, and a binder FULL of more worksheets!)
This, just another awesome example of how diligently she is working on regaining her speech! Great work Momma!
And as Christmas is nearly upon us, I was happy to crack open my devotional for a reminder of what it all means:
Manning writes,
THE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS
In 1980, the day before Christmas, Richard Ballenger's mother in Anderson, South Carolina, was busy wrapping packages and asked her young son to shine her shoes. Soon, with the proud smile that only a seven-year-old can muster, he presented the shoes for inspection. His mother was so pleased that she gave him a quarter.
On Christmas morning as she put on the shoes to go to church, she noticed a lump in one shoe. She took it off and found a quarter wrapped in paper. Written on the paper in a child's scrawl were the words, "I done it for love."
When the final curtain falls, each one of us will be the sum of our choices throughout life, the sum of the appointments we kept and the appointments we didn't keep. The glory of the shipwrecked will be that they habitually failed to turn up for duty. In their defense they claim they were detained by a baby in swaddling clothes. When interrogated as to why they hung out at the stable, they answer, "We done it for love."
In their integrity the shipwrecked preserve the meaning of Christmas in it pristine purity - the birthday of the Savior and the eruption of the messianic era into history.
This Christmas, may you belong to their number.
We love because He FIRST loved us. - 1 John 4:19.
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS-DAY #23 PRAYER:
Lord,
Today I ask for you to show us how to sit in the posture of 1 John. It is all because you first loved us, Lord and we are so very thankful for this truth. I pray that we not only are reminded of this as we pray for a very special conversation Christmas morning with Mom, but everyday, as Manning says, "Until the curtain falls..."
Let every heart prepare Him room!
Amen.
Where have you seen God's grace in your life today?
Friday, December 23, 2011
DAY #22: CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS
In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. ~ 2 Corinthians 4:4.
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS-DAY #22 PRAYER:
Lord,
Thank you for the opportunity to praise YOU this Christmas season! Thank you for your truth and meeting us right where we are; teaching us what it means to be held.
Amen.
Where have you seen God’s grace in your life today?
Thursday, December 22, 2011
DAY #21: CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS
Mom had me ROLLING in laughter on my way into work…
We were chatting about the to-do list for the weekend and she was INSISTING on SOMETHING…but I was unsure of what?? After guessing pretty much anything I could think of I said, “Is Dad awake yet?”
So with a bit of a groan I heard her walk in and try and get him up. This is a huge feat considering Grams used to use a cup of water to wake him! …I heard Mom say, “G-uh”…then “Get-uh”…then she found the words … “Get-up!” and oh man…once she figured it out it was Get-up! ... Get-up! ... Get-up! ... Get-up! ... Get-up! ... I couldn’t help but laugh as I pictured her practically giving my dad CPR to the beat of Get-up! (still laughing now…)
As my Dad begrudgingly rolls over I hear him whisper in his raspy morning voice… “I’m going to tell Jess you’ve been picking at your feet!!!”
(SIDENOTE: Mother has a terrible foot condition which the docs have been unable to diagnose, but it has prevented her from playing golf and (sorry for being a little unpleasant) but it causes large and painful dry cracks along the bottom of her feet). It itches her, so she likes to pick instead of put the salve on and leave her socks on. I tend to yell at her when she starts at it…and apparently Dad lets it slide!)
SO – as Mom continues to say “Get-up!” to the CPR beat…Dad joins in with Feet-picker! … Feet-picker! … Feet-picker! … I almost had to pull over I was laughing SO HARD!!!
Needless to say, they’ve been flirting a lot lately! J Puts a smile on my face!
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS-DAY #21 PRAYER:
Lord,
Thank you for placing a healing touch on Mom and Dad’s marriage through her stroke. Although we never would have chosen it, we see how you used it! Thank you for Mom’s victories we see in her finding her words.
We don’t deserve it, but we’ll take it and give You the glory!
Amen.
Where have you seen God’s grace in your life today?
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
DAY #20: CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS
My powerful little morning devotional met me again right where I am at.
Manning writes:
EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT
Christmas is the promise that the God who came in history and comes daily in mystery will one day come in glory. God is saying in Jesus that in the end everything will be all right.
NOTHING can harm you permanently,
No suffering is irrevocable,
No loss lasting,
No defeat is more than transitory,
No disappointment is conclusive.
Jesus DID NOT deny the REALITY of
Suffering,
Discouragement,
Frustration and
Death;
He simply stated that the Kingdom of God would conquer ALL of these horrors, that the Father’s love is SO prodigal that NO evil could possibly resist it.
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. Revelation 21:4.
Man, did I just yearn to be affirmed in this today!
AND… I am very happy to report, with this refreshing reminder that everything will be all right; Courtney had a few updates with Mom’s progress!
As they did speech over skype yesterday, Mom couldn’t get out what she was trying to tell Courtney, so she walked to the kitchen and brought out a pan and spoon (with a smirk...you know Mom). Courtney was able to figure out that she was trying to tell her she was baking Dad’s favorite homemade chex mix! “Is that right?”… Mom said, “Yes!”
Court asked if she set a timer. Mom said, “Yes, 20 minutes.”
This was just HUGE because not only did she say a time, but the CORRECT amount of time! (Court knew it was correct being the baker in the familyJ)
For those of you who are unfamiliar with aphasia/apraxia, often when Mom is asked a time, name, or day of the week, she will say another name (i.e. calling for Dad she’ll say…Joan (my aunts nameJ), she’ll say goodnight when we get off the phone in the morning, she’ll say Saturday when it’s Monday.
She says it all in her very cute way…and we giggle about it and continue to encourage her to keep trying…But you can see just how HUGE it is when she is actually ACCURATE and this is happening MORE AND MORE! Thanks be to God. He is working through my sister and all of the speech therapy she continues to diligently work on with Mom!!!
Courtney also mentioned the success Mom is having in saying numbers 1-20, days of the week, months and alphabet. She has seen significant improvement in numbers, days and months. It is SO VERY encouraging to hear all of these improvements as we continue to pray for her words to flow!
Needless to say...I CAN NOT WAIT to be home in 2 days! I am really REALLY looking forward to chatting with Momma!
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS – DAY # 20 PRAYER:
Lord,
You never cease to amaze me. With every brand new morning you meet us right we are. THANK YOU for the tangible improvements you are showing us in Mom’s progress. We praise you and continue to ask for healing as you SHOW US that everything is going to be all right!
Amen.
Where have you seen God’s grace in your life today?
Monday, December 19, 2011
DAY #19: CONVERSATIONS AT CHRISTMAS
Well, after an action packed weekend, it’s time to make the most of these last few days prior to Christmas praying for Momma Besch. As I look back at the past weeks I have dedicated to praying diligently for Mom’s words to begin to flow, I am in awe of all God has taught me about prayer.
· JOY
· Love
· Trust
· Peace
I found a little gift in my inbox this morning from my very best friend. I am so thankful God gave me her, along with my father, to endure this storm together. Courtney’s gift in her email was another reminder of the posture of prayer. She found a great excerpt from her daily devotional on prayer.
Today’s gift:
Courtney mentioned, “One part stood out to me and I just wanted to share”…
"…He is always wrestling in prayer for you, that you may stand firm in the will of God, mature and fully assured"-Colossians 4:12
"A prayer filled life is not necessarily a belief that God will do exactly what we ask for, but a trust that He will hear our desires and know what's best for us. A trust that He will lead, guide and direct us as we seek His will. I wholeheartedly rely on this assurance"
I feel God DAILY put me back into this posture and attitude of prayer. I fight between telling God what I selfishly want for Mom right now and my understanding that His timing is perfect. As I continue to wrestle with Mom’s healing process, I finally am beginning to understand that it is not my battle to work out. Instead, I rest in God’s plan for her life. He already knew her life story before she was born and knows the journey she has ahead.
I also continually remind myself that He loves her far more than Dad, Courtney, myself and all of you …COMBINED.I picture myself as a Gumby doll and God the child playing with me. Just as I think I have it all figured out… God gently molds me back into the correct posture. And you know what; I’m completely open to that! He knows what is best for me and what is best for Mom.
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS: DAY 19
Lord,
Thank you for your readjustments. Thank you for loving me enough to continually humble me and remind me that as much as I want the control, it’s not mine to take. Thank you for loving Mom far more then I could ever imagine and for holding our family through this Christmas season.
Today I am again reminded of what this season is all about. You came down to this earth to live the life we could not live and died for each and every one of your children so that we may have eternal life with YOU! May both the joys and the challenges in my life always bring me back to your feet!
To Him be ALL the glory!
Amen.
Where have you seen God’s grace in your life today?
Thursday, December 15, 2011
DAY #15: CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS
I was blessed today and I am excited to share the story with you.
A dear co-worker of mine, who I am happy to now call a friend, gave me a very sweet gift. This co-worker (from Eden Prairie, MN) came all the way to south Florida to meet me…funny how God works (or maybe not at all)! Elizabeth has been such a blessing to me as I have had the chance to get to know her over the past few weeks. We are actually going to spend some time together while we are both home in Minnesota over Christmas.
I know, I know…back to the gift!
First, the card. Remember yesterday’s message to be still? Well the beautiful card stated: God’s Blessings to You. This Christmas may you be blessed with the joy of His presence and the quiet peace of the season.
These past three days God is almost TANGIBLY telling me to SLOW DOWN. As I have been going, going, going these last few weeks (I know…surprise!) I am missing the whole point of the Christmas season. How can I enjoy it if I BLOW RIGHT THROUGH IT? The message of this card truly touched my heart.
“The Lord will bless His people with peace.” – Psalm 29:11.
Second, the gift.
1. Delicious smelling citron shower gel with a beautiful cross necklace wrapped around it
a. MEANING-Jesus died on the cross to wash us clean (how thoughtful!). The most important reminder this Christmas season!
2. Earrings
a. MEANING-We are royal daughters of the King! Remember how precious YOU are!
3. 5 Prayer Stones
a. MEANING-A reminder of how to pray:
i. 1. Pray for friends and family
ii. 2. Pray for those who serve us (teachers, pastors, physicians)
iii. 3. Pray for those who lead us (integrity and wisdom of our government)
iv. 4. Pray for those who need us
v. 5. Pray for yourself!
I was absolutely floored by the thoughtfulness of this gift and very thankful for the timing! God continues to show up as I focus on listening. What a beautiful, beautiful thing!
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS-DAY #15:
Heavenly Father,
Today, not only do I pray for Mom, but also her entire support system. I pray for Dad’s perseverance in his caretaking, Courtney in her persistence with speech therapy over Skype and ALL of our friends and family who continue to pray for and encourage Mom in her recovery.
Thank you, Lord, for all of those who have been a special part of Mom’s healing. I pray for every doctor, every nurse, every therapist and beyond who have served Mom and our family throughout her recovery. Lord, thank you also for the pastoral staff at Eagle Brook and the messages you continue to use to speak truth into our family.
God, I also thank you for this blog and for your message. You have provided this (and other avenues) to reach out to those who don’t know you. Thank you for using Mom’s story to show your saving grace!
Lastly, Lord, I pray for myself. I pray that you continue to use my life to share your story. That you continue to humble me and shine your bright light through me for all to see.
Amen.
Where have you seen God’s grace in your life today?
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
DAY #14: CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS
Listening intently today I heard (over and over again...), "Be still and know that I am God."-Psalm 46:10. I am going to continue to be challenged in LISTENING to God instead of talking at Him!
I turned to Psalm 46 to dig a little deeper and found such encouragement in the word:
Psalm 46
1 God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.[c]
4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
7 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
8 Come and see what the LORD has done,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease
to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the shields[d] with fire.
10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
11 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS-DAY #14 PRAYER:
God,
I continue to listen and BE STILL in your presence. Thank you for loving me enough to teach me the value of being still and what it looks like to listen first!
Amen.
Where have you seen God's grace in your life today?
I turned to Psalm 46 to dig a little deeper and found such encouragement in the word:
Psalm 46
1 God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.[c]
4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
7 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
8 Come and see what the LORD has done,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease
to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the shields[d] with fire.
10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
11 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS-DAY #14 PRAYER:
God,
I continue to listen and BE STILL in your presence. Thank you for loving me enough to teach me the value of being still and what it looks like to listen first!
Amen.
Where have you seen God's grace in your life today?
DAY #13: CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS
I was totally humbled today by my devotional. All along I've been telling God what I am praying and how I am going to pray to him...today I learned (and will continue to learn) how to listen.
MAKING TIME TO LISTEN
It is one thing to know Jesus Christ loves us and another thing to realize it. In prayer we slow down to human tempo and make time to listen. In prayer we discover what we already have. You start from where you are and realize that you are already there. We already have everything, but many of us don't know it and therefore don't experience it. Everything has been given to us by the Father in Jesus. All we need now is to experience what we already posses. The most precious moments of prayer consist in letting ourselves be loved by the Lord.
During the Christmas season we don't have to seek after God in prayer. We could not seek him unless we had already found him. Abba, Jesus and the Spirit have been there all the time, and if we create the opportunity in prayer, God will make himself known to us. "We learn to pray," said the late Thomas Merton, "by praying."
May my prayer be set before you like incense; may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice. Psalm 141:12
- Reflections for Ragamuffins; B.Manning.
... and so today I make time to listen. I sit in prayer all day and LISTEN to what God has to tell me about Mom and her healing.
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS-DAY #13 PRAYER:
God,
Thank you for reminding me to take time to LISTEN to you. I open my eyes and my heart to what you have to share with me today.
Amen.
Where have you seen God's grace in your life today?
MAKING TIME TO LISTEN
It is one thing to know Jesus Christ loves us and another thing to realize it. In prayer we slow down to human tempo and make time to listen. In prayer we discover what we already have. You start from where you are and realize that you are already there. We already have everything, but many of us don't know it and therefore don't experience it. Everything has been given to us by the Father in Jesus. All we need now is to experience what we already posses. The most precious moments of prayer consist in letting ourselves be loved by the Lord.
During the Christmas season we don't have to seek after God in prayer. We could not seek him unless we had already found him. Abba, Jesus and the Spirit have been there all the time, and if we create the opportunity in prayer, God will make himself known to us. "We learn to pray," said the late Thomas Merton, "by praying."
May my prayer be set before you like incense; may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice. Psalm 141:12
- Reflections for Ragamuffins; B.Manning.
... and so today I make time to listen. I sit in prayer all day and LISTEN to what God has to tell me about Mom and her healing.
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS-DAY #13 PRAYER:
God,
Thank you for reminding me to take time to LISTEN to you. I open my eyes and my heart to what you have to share with me today.
Amen.
Where have you seen God's grace in your life today?
Monday, December 12, 2011
DAY #12: CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS
After an amazing weekend of growth and learning, I couldn't think of a better reprieve then to spend the evening with some fabulous friends! I was reminded in conversation tonight with the girls of the prayer a friend back home is hoping for Mom.
Not only is he praying for that conversation at Christmas, but he also mentioned, "I hope your Mom talks your ear off this year!"...the thought just brings the biggest smile to my face every time I think about it!
SO...
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS-DAY #12 PRAYER:
Lord,
Thank you for joy and laughter. Thank you for light hearted moments in the storms of life. Thank you for Cody and his high hopes of Mom's recovery! I just chuckle inside...thinking of all of this prayer for a conversation...oh how the whole family longs for it...and if that means Mom's going to TALK MY EAR OFF all next year, so be it!
Thank you for this hope, Lord! I feel a little lighter just laughing about it right now!
God is good, all the time. All the time, God is GOOD!
Amen.
Where have you seen God's grace in your life today?
Not only is he praying for that conversation at Christmas, but he also mentioned, "I hope your Mom talks your ear off this year!"...the thought just brings the biggest smile to my face every time I think about it!
SO...
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS-DAY #12 PRAYER:
Lord,
Thank you for joy and laughter. Thank you for light hearted moments in the storms of life. Thank you for Cody and his high hopes of Mom's recovery! I just chuckle inside...thinking of all of this prayer for a conversation...oh how the whole family longs for it...and if that means Mom's going to TALK MY EAR OFF all next year, so be it!
Thank you for this hope, Lord! I feel a little lighter just laughing about it right now!
God is good, all the time. All the time, God is GOOD!
Amen.
Where have you seen God's grace in your life today?
DAY #11: CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS
Here is where my heart is today ~
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS - DAY # 11:
Amen.
Where have you seen God's grace in your life today?
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS - DAY # 11:
Amen.
Where have you seen God's grace in your life today?
Saturday, December 10, 2011
DAY #10: CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS
I apologize for missing day #9. I was at a conference Friday from 6p-midnight, today from 9a-8p and tomorrow we are at it again...
Words can not even begin to describe what I am experiencing at this leadership conference, but I wanted to prioritize Mom's prayer tonight. A reminder of God's steadfast devotion to hear each one of his children.
Today Ephesians was brought to our attention:
"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have POWER together with all the saints to grasp how WIDE and LONG and HIGH and DEEP is the LOVE of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of the fullness of God" - Ephesians 3:17-19.
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS: DAY #10 PRAYER -
Lord,
I come before you this evening in awe of our GRACE and your LOVE. You KNEW my Mom was going to be my Mom before you created both of us. While operating under your free will; we have seen the difference in doing life on our own. Trying to love the way the world wants us to love, instead of the selfless love (Mark 12:31) you came down to this earth to model for us. Today I want to again surrender the CONTROL. I am re-committed to letting go of the reins and TRUSTING that my life, Mom's life, our entire families life is IN YOUR HANDS. Your way is far better than mine. Mom's healing is not for me to try to orchestrate, but rather through prayer and thanksgiving, acknowledge that she is in your hands. Thank you for being THE Almighty Saviour.
Amen
Where have you seen God's grace in your life today?
Words can not even begin to describe what I am experiencing at this leadership conference, but I wanted to prioritize Mom's prayer tonight. A reminder of God's steadfast devotion to hear each one of his children.
Today Ephesians was brought to our attention:
"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have POWER together with all the saints to grasp how WIDE and LONG and HIGH and DEEP is the LOVE of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of the fullness of God" - Ephesians 3:17-19.
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS: DAY #10 PRAYER -
Lord,
I come before you this evening in awe of our GRACE and your LOVE. You KNEW my Mom was going to be my Mom before you created both of us. While operating under your free will; we have seen the difference in doing life on our own. Trying to love the way the world wants us to love, instead of the selfless love (Mark 12:31) you came down to this earth to model for us. Today I want to again surrender the CONTROL. I am re-committed to letting go of the reins and TRUSTING that my life, Mom's life, our entire families life is IN YOUR HANDS. Your way is far better than mine. Mom's healing is not for me to try to orchestrate, but rather through prayer and thanksgiving, acknowledge that she is in your hands. Thank you for being THE Almighty Saviour.
Amen
Where have you seen God's grace in your life today?
Friday, December 9, 2011
DAY #8: CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS
I was reminded this week of one of my very favorite speech's, Jimmy Valvano's 1993 ESPY Speech. This is a MUST WATCH:
He reminds us that EVERYDAY we should:
1. Laugh
2. Think
3. Have our emotions move us to tears - cry
He discusses his battle with cancer and encourages all to:
1. Know where you started - shares a funny story of how he 'goofed up' his first locker room speech as a coach (Lombardi's speech)
2. Know where you are - encourages all to ENJOY your life and to have a dream and a goal!
3. Know where you are going to be - give to others with time on earth!
What better speech then to include the GREEN BAY PACKERS and an encouraging message!? As I continue to pray for a conversation at Christmas with Mom, I think about her perseverance and what a great message this is. Thank goodness her stroke will not take her from us, but I hope these words will encourage her in her fight for speech!
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS: DAY #8 PRAYER:
Dear Lord,
God you are so mighty and we are so fortunate to serve You! Thank you for the beautiful reminder:
"...Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope." -Romans 5:3-4.
My request today is that Mom feels this promise in her heart and continues to persevere in here recovery as she seeks hope in You!
Amen.
Where have you seen God's grace in your life today?
He reminds us that EVERYDAY we should:
1. Laugh
2. Think
3. Have our emotions move us to tears - cry
He discusses his battle with cancer and encourages all to:
1. Know where you started - shares a funny story of how he 'goofed up' his first locker room speech as a coach (Lombardi's speech)
2. Know where you are - encourages all to ENJOY your life and to have a dream and a goal!
3. Know where you are going to be - give to others with time on earth!
What better speech then to include the GREEN BAY PACKERS and an encouraging message!? As I continue to pray for a conversation at Christmas with Mom, I think about her perseverance and what a great message this is. Thank goodness her stroke will not take her from us, but I hope these words will encourage her in her fight for speech!
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS: DAY #8 PRAYER:
Dear Lord,
God you are so mighty and we are so fortunate to serve You! Thank you for the beautiful reminder:
"...Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope." -Romans 5:3-4.
My request today is that Mom feels this promise in her heart and continues to persevere in here recovery as she seeks hope in You!
Amen.
Where have you seen God's grace in your life today?
Thursday, December 8, 2011
DAY #7: CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS
I found the perfect quote posted on facebook...and it fit right in line with the heart and attitude I have been trying to pray for a conversation at Christmas with Mom.
"A prayer filled life is not necessarily a belief that God will do exactly what we ask for, but a trust that He will hear our desires and know what's best for us. A trust that He will lead, guide and direct us as we seek His will."
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS - DAY #7 PRAYER:
Lord,
Today, again, I ask for a conversation at Christmas with my Mom. As I ask, I trust that You will hear my desire and know what is best.
Amen
Where have you seen God's grace in your life today?
"A prayer filled life is not necessarily a belief that God will do exactly what we ask for, but a trust that He will hear our desires and know what's best for us. A trust that He will lead, guide and direct us as we seek His will."
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS - DAY #7 PRAYER:
Lord,
Today, again, I ask for a conversation at Christmas with my Mom. As I ask, I trust that You will hear my desire and know what is best.
Amen
Where have you seen God's grace in your life today?
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
DAY #6: CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS
A friend sent me this church sign today…and it really had me thinking…
Thinking about those seasons in life where I thought I had everything together. Where I thought I was in control. When I thought God fit into my life instead of directing my every step. AND…isn’t it so true that just when we think WE have it all together and can so easily point out others flaws or blame those closest to us…we suddenly can no longer ignore the three fingers pointing back at us.
My neighbor reminded me of Matthew chapter 7 on Sunday, and bits and pieces continue to be revealed to me this week:
Matthew 7~
Judging Others
1 "Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. 3Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is the log in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.
6 "Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.
Ask, and It Will Be Given
7 "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 8For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. 9Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? 10Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? 11If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!
The Golden Rule
12"So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.
13 "Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy[a] that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. 14For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.
A Tree and Its Fruit
15 "Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. 16You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. 18A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20Thus you will recognize them by their fruits.
I Never Knew You
21 "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 On that day many will say to me, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?' 23 And then will I declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.'
Build Your House on the Rock
24 "Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. 26And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. 27And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it."
The Authority of Jesus
28And when Jesus finished these sayings, the crowds were astonished at his teaching, 29 for he was teaching them as one who had authority, and not as their scribes.
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS – DAY #6 PRAYER:
Dear Lord,
I am so thankful to serve a sovereign God. Thank you for the continual reminders this week that you are God and I am not. Thank you for teaching me that freedom is surrendering control to you over and over and over again. Freedom is not free and I truly appreciate the freedom you gift us through letting go of control, judgment, blame and a legalistic mentality.
Thank you, Lord, for using the storm of Mom’s stroke to get our family back on our knees. We continue to be grateful for the miracles we have seen through Mom’s recovery. We also humbly ask for her continued healing. We ask for that conversation at Christmas. We give you all glory and honor forever and ever.
Amen.
Where have you seen God’s grace in your life today?
Monday, December 5, 2011
DAY #5: CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS
Be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. -Ephesians 3:19
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS – DAY #5 PRAYER:
God,
I come to you tonight and just think of all my Mom means to me and how thankful I am for her. Lord, I thank you for creating her.
You are God and I am not. You are big and I am small. With this posture, I come before you, knowing that you know the capability of her healing, and continue to ask for words to flow. Thank you for allowing me to continue to ask for big things and for giving me HOPE in your plan for her life.
Amen.
Where have you seen God’s grace in your life today?
Sunday, December 4, 2011
DAY #4: CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS
Mom, Courtney and I had fun putting on masks one morning while home in Minnesota over the Thanksgiving holiday.
Mom got a kick out of the masks, so I thought I would facetime with her this morning while wearing my mask. Nothing like a good laugh after she had an 'off' day yesterday!
My morning devo fit right in line with our giggles this morning...
B. Manning writes:
THE LAW OF LEVITY
Christmas is a vision that enables the Christian to see beyond the tragic in his life. It is a reminder that he NEEDS the laughter of God to prevent him from taking the world too seriously. The Christian law of levity says that whatever falls into the earth will rise again. Christian laughter is the echo of Christmas joy in us.
If you really accept the mystery of Bethlehem, “glad tidings of great joy,” your heart will be filled with the laughter of the Father. “You are sad now but I shall see you again, and your hearts will be full of joy, and that joy no one shall take from you” (John 16:22).
“Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their fathers treated the prophets.” – Luke 6:23.
Manning’s thought this morning reminded me of a sermon a few weeks back on JOY. Pastor Bob explained the difference between JOY and happiness. Happiness comes from something HAPPENing, which is directly related to circumstance. Joy comes from the Greek word chara, which is derived from the same root charis; meaning GRACE. Joy is the fruit of the spirit inside each one of us who believe! It is a gift and it is NOT dependent on circumstance.
This reminder of TRUE JOY is very comforting as we work through Mom’s recovery and her frustration. I am reminded that as a result of something happening (Mom’s stroke) it is okay for her to be sad or frustrated with her lack of communication, but we can all still access JOY!
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS – DAY #4 PRAYER:
Dear Lord,
Thank you for creating JOY! I appreciate being reminded that joy is us and not even the greatest storms of life can take it away. I also thank you for allowing Mom to laugh through her frustrations. I pray that she is able to continue to access that joy as some days the words flow more easily than others!
We continue to ask for the healing of her mind, both the aphasia and apraxia. We praise you Lord for hearing our prayers and meeting us right where we are at.
Amen.
Where have you seen God’s grace in your life today?
Saturday, December 3, 2011
DAY #3: CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS
I had an extremely busy day today, but was able to give Mom a buzz while making a run to Target. It’s not too often she has an off day, but today was one of them. Very interesting that it was on my heart to pray for her frustration (last post)!
Court then had a chat with Mom. She filled me in on their conversation:
Mom said, “I can’t say anything.”
Courtney said, “Yes you can, you just told me a whole sentence.” :o)
Mom was talking about how speech was difficult today with Courtney, which it was, and Courtney reassured Mom that some days are just tough. Courtney affirmed, “It doesn’t mean you are taking a step back, just having an off day.” This is something the Speech Therapists have told us is common from the beginning of her therapy.
Mom said, “Ok.”
Then Courtney said, “We’ll work tomorrow.”
Mom said, “Yes, I’ll wait ‘til tomorrow.”
All in all, a good conversation, even though Mom is having a difficult day.
As I thought about the prayer for Mom today, I remembered a book my Aunt gave to me (Jesus, Beth Moore) which opens with a beautiful prayer reminding myself, Mom and all of us that He is all we really NEED!
DAY #3 Prayer:
He is Jesus.
The One and Only.
Transcendent over all else.
To know Him is to love Him.
To love Him is to long for Him.
To long for Him is to finally reach
soul hands into the One true thing
we need never get enough of.
Jesus.
Take all you want.
Take all you need.
Till soul is fed.
And spirit freed.
Till dust is dust.
And Face you see.
Jesus Christ.
He’s all you need.
Amen.
I was once told that if Jesus is all you have, Jesus is all you need! Sometimes these storms in life allow us to see what it is we truly need. I strongly dislike seeing Mom’s frustration, but I am so thankful that she is showing emotion (another PRAISE) and also thankful that these “off” days have been few and far between. Courtney reminded me that she still has not cried yet.
Until tomorrow…
Where have you seen God’s grace in your life today?
DAY #2: CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS
One of my devotionals this week really resonated with me:
THIS SACRED SEASON
Once a year the Christmas season strikes both the sacred and secular spheres of life with sledgehammer force: suddenly Jesus Christ is everywhere.
For approximately one month his presence is inescapable. You may accept him or reject him, affirm him or deny him, but you cannot ignore him. Of course he is proclaimed in speech, song and symbol in all the Christian churches. But he rides every red-nosed reindeer, lurks behind every Cabbage Patch doll, resonates in the most desacralized “season’s greetings.” Remotely or proximately, he is toasted in every cup of Christmas cheer. Each sprig of holly is a hint of his holiness, each cluster of mistletoe a sign he is here.
For those who claim his name, Christmas heralds this luminous truth: The God of Jesus Christ is our absolute future. Such is the deeply hopeful character of this sacred season. By God’s free doing in Bethlehem, NOTHING can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus. Light, life and love are on our side.
“The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” – which means, “God with us.” – Matthew 1:23
- Brennan Manning, Reflections for Ragamuffins
I just LOVE that...NOTHING can separate us from the LOVE of God in Christ Jesus...NOTHING!!! And as a part of this undeniable Christmas season, I continue be thankful for what it all TRULY MEANS. We cannot deny that He is the reason for the season. And in this season I am truly thankful for His unquestionable GRACE; for me, for you and for Momma Besch!
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS - DAY #2 PRAYER:
Dear Lord,
Not because of who I am, but because of what You’ve done. Not because of what I’ve done, but because of who you are. I continue to be so thankful for you. Thankful for the grace you show all of us, especially Mom!
Tonight, we continue to pray for her healing. We are so very appreciative for her joyfulness as she is diligent in her recovery, but tonight we pray specifically for her frustration. I’m not sure how I would manage if my communication was taken away from me, but somehow I think she is doing a FAR BETTER job than I would. SO although she is OFTEN joyful, I truly pray for those points of frustration.
God, please continue to carry her through those times. Help her to see how precious she is to each one of us and please help her to see her hard work and progress hand-in-hand with you. Thank you for being the God who created all that is, yet cares about our details. We ask all of these things in your precious name.
Amen
Where have you seen God’s grace in your life today?
Thursday, December 1, 2011
DAY #1: CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS
So…as many of you know, for the last few months I have been in prayer for a conversation at Christmas with Momma Besch. As I reflect back on March 28, 2011 (the day of Mom’s stroke) I think about how fortunate we are. Fortunate for:
1. God saving her life. He could have taken her to heaven that day, but he gave us more time with her here on earth!
2. For ALL of His MIRACLES we have seen through her recovery (refer to the first blog post: PRAYING FOR A MIRACLE)
And now I pray, and I hope you will join me in surrounding her with prayer this advent season, and ask God for a true conversation with my Mom Christmas morning. For the next 25 days I am going to post and continue to pray for a conversation with Mom on Christmas morning (and if she lets me, take a video to share with all of you!)
We were advised by Mom’s physicians that the MOST recovery occurs in the first year post stroke. This gives us until March 28, 2012. I know her recovery is in God’s time and in God’s way, but I also know that we serve a VERY BIG GOD and I want to pray for A VERY BIG LEAP IN MOM’S RECOVERY!
I will be on my knees the next 25 days and I know Mom will continue to work hard in therapy and with our family. Here is a glimpse of where she is now. I took this video while home over Thanksgiving:
Courtney does an excellent job working on speech with Mom as she re-learns reading, writing, listening and speech.
The first step in being a prayer warrior is learning about how God desires us to pray to him. I recently was reminded of the helpful acronym ACTS (which provides an order to step your way through praying).
Adoration is to adore God, to worship him and to fulfill the commandment to love him with all of our heart, mind and soul. As we spend time in adoration, we praise God for who He is - our Creator, our Sustainer and our Redeemer.Confession allows us to clear away the things in the relationship between you and God which are displeasing to Him. All of us have sinned. St John writes in his epistle "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." (I John 1:8,9)
Thanksgiving. From childhood we are brought up to say "Thank You" when someone does something for us, or gives us a gift. Each moment God is blessing us. And so, we need to be constantly thanking God for his blessings. In writing to Timothy, Paul makes it clear that we also need to be giving thanks for everyday, worldly things " I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness." 1 Tim 2:1.
Supplication or Intercession. Finally we come to ask God for our needs and the needs of others. There are many demands on our prayer time - many topics and issues that we could pray for, so we need to choose, and to be specific.
CONVERSATION AT CHRISTMAS - DAY #1 PRAYER:
Dear Lord,
How fortunate we are to serve the Creator of ALL THINGS and that you love us SO MUCH that you make yourself accessible to us at ALL times. With the ability to create all that is, You care about our every need and teach us what love is and how to love you and one-another. In our humanness, we confess our wants and needs. Sometimes we cannot separate ourselves from our own selfishness, but in humility we come before you and ask you to wash us clean for falling for the things of this world. For we are all filthy, but by your mercy, you purify our souls! THANKS BE TO GOD!
God, we are specifically thankful for Mom. Although we would never have elected for her to suffer such a traumatic stroke, we are thankful that you gave her more time here on earth and that you have shown us your will for her life, along with our family. We thank you for her joyful spirit and her determination as she does all that she can to recover, and You do the rest! Thank you for showing us HOW BIG YOU ARE through the many MIRACLES you have unwrapped during her recovery.
Post stroke, Mom could not function at all except for moving her right arm. As we walked into that hospital room for the first time, her eyes were open, but she was not there. In the days that followed we saw her move and walk and then...even GIGGLE. Through your grace we have again heard her voice and over the past 8 months we continue to hear more and more words. From where we started to where we are now, God, we are SO VERY THANKFUL. We praise you for the success in her recovery thus far.
And now we ask, God, that you turn her words and phrases into a conversation. We thank you for her laugh as she continues to help us to understand what she wants or what she is trying to talk to us about, but God, we are so ready for the words to FLOW. Ready for her to TELL US that story, from her perspective, of what she went through while in that hotel laundry room in North Carolina, and how she saw You save her life! Lord, we ask specifically for healing from the two major ailments the stroke has caused, aphasia and apraxia.
Aphasia affects Mom’s ability to speak, listen, read and write and apraxia affects Mom’s ability to perform tasks even though she may understand what was asked of her. God, we know you know all of this, but we want to be so specific in what we are asking for! Thank you for loving Mom far more then we could EVER TRY and we ask all of these things in your precious and holy name.
Amen.
And now, thank you to all of you for your thought and care to follow this blog. Thank you for all of the prayers you have prayed and continue to lift up for Mom. This Christmas season, my goal is to surround my Mom with as much prayer as possible for a conversation at Christmas. Please help me in this goal!
To learn more on aphasia and apraxia click here:
AND, as I always ask, Where have you seen God’s grace in your life today?
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