God showed up! ...and it was in a way I would have never expected... But just how He has been teaching me all year long ... In a moment!
Christmas morning was wonderful! I woke up bright and early, just as I remember doing as a little girl excited for Santa! This year it was the anticipation of all the thoughts and prayers for my conversation at Christmas with Mom.
Mom greeted me with a BIG hug and "Merry Christmas" (we've been working on this all weekend)! Dad joined us in the living room and we pulled up Skype with my sister and brother-in-law in Hartford, CT. Dad and I had our pens ready... What was Mom going to say this morning? We wanted to remember every detail to share with all of you...
We did notice more words along with more opportunities where she was trying to form full sentences. Things like, "Why don't you do it?" and "I've been waiting for you to come home!" These continued through opening gifts, breakfast, and out to my uncle and aunts for Christmas dinner.
Funny side note: The power went out shortly after we arrived for dinner. As we looked for plan b, Mom went right into her resourceful mode. Looking for candles, she found empty wine bottles to use as candle holders and we even had to yank her out of the laundry room cupboards as she was looking for other solutions to the power outage! We sure love this lady's personality... EVEN when it's difficult to get her to stop what she's got her mind set on. (I think this part of her is what has enabled God to work through her in such BIG ways!)
About an hour later as the power came back on and the whole family CHEERED, we were spoiled with steak and lobster for dinner. We watched the first half of the Packer game and then packed up to head home in time to catch the second half at home and get ready to drive up to the cabin today.
And then it happened... A very special moment with Mom. Just the moment I didn't even realize I've been praying for. As we were driving home, Dad noticed an ambulance driving in front of us. He pointed to it and asked Mom if she remembered her ride in the ambulance. She answered very somberly, "Yes." It brought us all back to that day... That moment.
It hurts us because we weren't there with her through the trauma of the stroke attacking her brain, but God reminded me last night in that pain that she was not alone. He was holding my Mom through all of it.
I asked her if she was scared on that ride (picturing the EMS staff, lots of chaos and unfamiliar circumstances). I was expecting a yes. I saw her think about it for a minute and as she burrowed her eyebrows a bit she responded very plainly with "No, not really."
As we worked through what she was experiencing between the hotel hallway floor, the ambulance and the hospital she explains her experience best with her actions. She closes her eyes tightly, puts her head back and stiffens her whole body (like on the stretcher) and then opens her eyes and with her arms pulled tight into her side lifts her hands up next to her cheeks (palms forward). Then she moves her eyeballs very slowly from one side to the other. She said, "I just couldn't do anything."
I asked her if she felt trapped and she said, "Yes!"
Dad reached over and placed his hand on Mom's thigh and tenderly said, "Honey, I am so sorry you had to go through that." And Mom (who usually smirks/giggles at Dad and pushes his hand away when he does these things) placed her hand on top of Dad's.
And as I watched them sitting in the back seat of the car, I knew this was God's tender answer to my Conversation at Christmas prayer.
That Momma Besch is pretty guarded, especially with Dad, but she let him in for a moment. To touch her heart through all that she has gone through, recognize that pain and remind her they're in it (with God) together.
Thank you, Lord!
Where have you seen God's grace in your life today?
